And then there was light! (The power was out for 3 days)

 

We had a tornado and macroburst pass right over us this past Sunday and have been without power for over 3 days.

It was odd not having any light or a refrigerator or an electric stove in the apartment. That's the longest power outage I've ever been in and it was a testing experience.

No t.v., no internet, no fan or a/c in this heat.

I tried to look at it positively and to learn something from it.

It was somewhat of an unintended electricity "fasting."

What did I learn? We become so dependent on things (in this case electronics) that when they are taken away, we are left with a sense of void that must be filled.

I felt something similar (though obviously more profound) when I lost my dad at 93 last year. Everything at home suddenly felt unfamiliar for a while.

We get attached to people and things. That is normal. But when we lose them, it is a great learning moment for me that God is always with us.

He was with me during the loss of my father, and he was with me during this relatively minor loss of power in comparison.

Thank you, Lord, for being there when we suffer loss.

Thank you for seeing us through the darkness and into the light.

Honesty with God and Freedom

 

I'm kind of following up on the previous post where I wrote about our need to be able to be honest with people, and especially God.

It is my belief that the more we can be honest with God, the more He will reveal Himself to us and the more we will be set free from what keeps us bound in sickness and sin.

The picture of the quote from the bible above actually starts with "and you will know the truth and..."

God is a god of peace and ultimate understanding.

He knows all of the things that have affected us and helped form us into what we are today.

Oftentimes we don't know the truth about ourselves, though.

Good and bad.

In my short book Winning the Battle with Mental Illness... I contend that we are only able to reach out for help when we have the freedom to do so.

I found out as a young man who was suffering from severe anxiety, depression and mood swings (which I didn't even recognize as such yet; I thought that was just being tested as I pursued a "calling" to the priesthood) that by opening myeslf to God first, I was freed to be able to reach out and take the initial steps toward healing and the relief of the enormous burden of anxiety and pain through the mental health community.

Over the years, I discovered that the reality and goodness of prudently prescribed medication (if one truly needs it) was another major key to freeing me to live a normal, healthy life.

"Are we ever truly free?"

There is always something in this lifetime which keeps us bound, but I liken it to having the "freedom" of a jail cell to that of a small apartment or even a house with a yard. (Some people almost literally have the world as their playground.)

There is interior freedom, economic freedom, physical freedom, etc that all carry the weight of responsibility that we will be answerable for in this life and the next.

As we celebrate our great nation's 250th birthday today, let us celebrate the hard-won freedoms that we enjoy and remember that we are only as great and free as the "least" in our society.

Find someone you can be totally honest with (God?)

 

Oftentimes, we seem to have no one that we can be truly honest with. 

There is always one person that you can and should be totally honest with, in my opinion. God.

Easier said than done, though.

Who is this God?

Many people have many ideas (or perhaps none at all).

I am very thankful to have good friends I can be very honest with.

Most of the time, they don't have the answers I want to hear.

That makes them no less of a human friend.

Sometimes the silence of God to our honesty with Him can be deafening to us.

Maybe He wants you to dig a little deeper.

Maybe He is waiting for you to be honest with Him.

Forget all the rules and regulations that you may have been exposed to.

He is a living God. 

He created you.

Knit you within the womb and knows everything about you.

If you can't be honest with the very God who called you into existence, then who can you be honest with?

"But God causes pain!"

God endured pain for us.

He defeated death at its own game and is there to forgive.

Pray for me as I pray for you.

I am a sinner.

My parents were sinners.

My ancestors were sinners.

Alone I am doomed, but with my friends and my God anything is possible.

Yes, forgiveness.

Redemption.

Mercy.

 

I just opened my Catholic book of the Liturgy of the Hours to today's daily prayer, and in it were presented Psalms 13 and 14, which were of great comfort to me this afternoon.

I am still praying for healthy, gainful employment after spending the last 15 years as a caregiver to my dad before he passed on peacefully last year.

I have an engineering degree but have been out of the "regular" workforce for quite some time.

After about a year of good rest that I truly needed from the caregiving duties, I am ready to move on to the next chapter in my life.

I've been working and praying on this for a month and a half and found these Psalms that I read today to be very consoling to me at the moment.

I hope they are to you too.

PSALM 13

I trust in your merciful love

1 For the choirmaster   Of David

2 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me for ever? How long will you hide your face from me?

3 How long must I bear grief in my soul, have sorrow in my heart all day long? How long shall my enemy prevail over me?

4 Look, answer me, LORD, my God! Give light to my eyes, or I shall fall asleep in death; 

5 and my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him;’ and my foes rejoice when they see me fall. 

6 As for me, I trust in your merciful love. Let my heart rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD who has been generous to me. I will sing psalms to the name of the LORD Most High.

PSALM 14

My refuge is the LORD

1 It is the fool who says in the heart, ‘There is no God.’ Their deeds are corrupt, depraved; no one does any good.

2 From heaven the LORD looks down on the human race, to see if any are wise, if any seek God. 

3 All have gone astray, [→ Rm 3:10–12] depraved, every one; no one does any good; no, not even one. 

4 Do none of the evil-doers understand? They eat up my people as if eating bread; and do not call on the LORD. 

5 There they shall tremble with fear, for God is with the righteous generation. 

6 You may mock the plans of the poor, but their refuge is the LORD. 

7 Who will bring Israel salvation from Zion? When the LORD brings about the return of his people, then Jacob will be glad, and Israel will rejoice.

The value private (even if throw-away) journaling

 

I've been in the habit of keeping a private journal since around 2004 (over 22 years now), which coincidentally coincides with a major positive and lasting turn in my mental stability and health.

My favorite kind of journaling is "throw-away" journaling (as pictured above), where I can be brutally honest with myself and God. 

I know most of my website/blog tries to be positive and encouraging, but I am human and experience negative thoughts and emotions too, which need to be dealt with rationally. 

These journals are my private space where I can externalize these negative thoughts and emotions, see them for what they are, and deal with them before they snowball into negative actions that only serve to cause unnecessary pain and anguish.

Below I have pasted a good summary of the benefits of keeping a private journal. I hope you have the freedom and courage to do so as well if that is what you may need. 

Keeping a private journal delivers immense value across mental health, cognitive function, and personal development. By serving as a secure, unedited space for your inner thoughts, it acts as both a psychological tool and a life anchor. [1, 2, 3]

Mental and Emotional Wellness

• Reduces Stress and Anxiety: Writing down negative or overwhelming thoughts stops them from looping in your head, effectively lowering your brain's "fight or flight" response. [1, 2]
• Acts as an Emotional Valve: A private page gives you permission to confront, process, and release heavy emotions like anger, trauma, or frustration without fear of judgment. [1, 2]
• Strengthens Mental Health: Pioneering research by Dr. James Pennebaker shows that expressive writing organizes mental chaos, improves sleep, and even boosts immune cell function. [1, 2]

Self-Awareness and Personal Growth

• Identifies Behavioral Patterns: Reviewing past entries reveals recurring habits, triggers, and emotional cycles, allowing you to make conscious, positive changes. [1, 2]
• Tracks Progress and Growth: Keeping a written record allows you to look back and objectively measure how much you have changed, healed, or advanced over time. [1, 2]
• Provides Self-Accountability: Documenting your daily choices, values, and goals forces you to answer honestly to yourself, helping align your actions with your intentions. [1, 2, 3]

Cognitive and Creative Benefits

• Frees Working Memory: Externalizing complex thoughts or traumas onto paper unburdens the brain, allowing it to process information and store new data more efficiently. [1, 2]
• Enhances Problem-Solving: Seeing a problem written down strips away immediate emotional heat, turning a chaotic mental spinning into a visual blueprint where you can brainstorm logical solutions. [1, 2, 3]
• Unlocks Raw Creativity: Because a private journal requires no formal structure, spelling, or editing, it serves as a liberating sandbox for doodles, mind maps, and unfiltered ideas. [1, 2]

---

Deep Introspection & Creative Solitude

Celebrated authors throughout history have championed the journal not just as a record of events, but as a masterclass in living intentionally. Virginia Woolf noted that a diary provides unfiltered access to the "rough gems" of our minds, bypassing the self-censorship that usually occurs when we write for an audience. Similarly, essayist Anaïs Nin viewed daily journaling as the ultimate way to fully inhabit our inner lives and practice the art of solitude. By capturing life's raw material in the moment, you preserve small, happy details that human memory naturally distorts or forgets over time

Reading the Bible

For the last 5 years of my dad's life (he died at age 93 a little over a year ago), he began reading through his Bible from beginning to end. I think he told me, in the end, that he had made it through it 3 times in that period.

It was part of his morning prayer and meditation ritual. He would read a few chapters at a time each day.

The thought of that and his example has inspired me to do much the same (though I read it when I can throughout each day)

Above is the cover of my favorite version, which was introduced to me as a catechumen in the Catholic Church way back in 1991, I think. It was given to each of us by the good Irish American priest who instructed us.

I have it in ebook form on my phone for convenience wherever I go. (But mainly at home here)

I find it very readable and accurate, as it is officially approved.

I made it through Genesis and am now midway through Exodus. It's not really a chore, though, as I kind of enjoy it and read it with the overall guidance of the Church through which it was given to us through the workings of the Holy Spirit.

I will keep you posted as to my progress now and then.

 

Someone out there is praying for you

As I begin a new day, I want to remind you that there are people out there praying for you right now.

Above is an icon representing only a handful of the Saints in heaven who are very much concerned with our welfare here on earth.

That is a matter of faith, of course, according to the Catholic Church.

I'm sure each of us has actual family members or ancestors who are saints in heaven as well and are very concerned about our well-being here.

We all feel abandoned at some point (or points) in our lives, and I am thankful to have the grace of God to be able to see this truth of our faith. We all have very concerned families interceding for us.

Of course, our Lord Jesus Christ ultimately is the only Intercessor with Our Father in heaven through the workings of the Holy Spirit.

God is the Trinity.

God is a Family.

And he listens intently to the cries and prayers of all his family here on earth and in heaven.

I, too, have been alone, I too have been abandoned, I too have been abused and neglected, I too have been poor (and really still am.)

So too was Our Lord.

He is a God who cares deeply for us and will not abandon us to our sickness and sin.

I take the time now to renew my private prayers to Him and my family in heaven.

I will also renew my public prayer to return to suitable, normal work now that my 15 years of caregiving to my father have ended peacefully.

I want to thank my mom and dad again. They gave me life, they gave me love and they gave me a home when I needed it.

God bless you and have a great day today.

Favorite picture of my mom and dad.

Thank you both.